By Edrine Wasswa Mugerwa
Many men are fathers biologically, but are they fathers by heart? Exploring the challenges of modern fatherhood reveals why, in many communities — including Uganda — men are often perceived as less effective parents. Fatherhood plays a crucial role in shaping children’s lives and the future of society. Yet, this perception arises from a combination of social, cultural, and personal factors that influence how men engage in parenting today.
Mondo Kyateka, the Commissioner for Youth and Children Affairs at Uganda’s Ministry of Gender, emphasises that fatherhood extends beyond financial provision. He explains, “Fathers need to understand that parenting is not all about money… Fatherhood is beyond providing and is about protecting, guiding, being there, loving unconditionally.” This highlights the multifaceted nature of fatherhood, which involves emotional support, guidance, and presence, not just financial responsibility.
Challenges faced by fathers
Many men who become fathers today grew up without positive father figures. This absence of good role models often leads to difficulties in parenting. Without examples of nurturing and supportive fatherhood, some men lack the knowledge or understanding of how to effectively care for and guide their children. This gap can sometimes result in harmful behaviours, including harshness or abuse, as negative patterns from their own childhoods are repeated.
Such realities call on fathers to engage in regular self-reflection, asking themselves questions like, “Am I being a good dad?” or “Even though I make mistakes, am I trying to do better?” Fatherhood is not about perfection but about striving to learn, improve, and provide love and support. By breaking negative cycles, fathers create positive environments where children can thrive, ultimately improving both their own lives and their children’s futures.
Why some fathers fall short
It is important to recognise that not all men are ineffective fathers. Many men in Uganda and beyond, fulfil their parenting roles admirably. However, some fathers fall short due to several key reasons.
First, many men grow up without learning how to be good fathers. They grew up in families where their own fathers were poor role models. Without adequate support or guidance, they may repeat these mistakes.
In addition, like anyone else, men face personal struggles such as stress, mental health issues, alcohol abuse, and financial difficulties. In Uganda, poverty and past trauma often affect men’s ability to support their children emotionally and financially.
There is also the issue of many fathers being physically absent due to work or other reasons. Some men migrate to cities or abroad to find employment, leaving mothers and extended families to care for children. Research shows that about 40% of men who father children abandon them, negatively impacting the children’s well-being.
In some instances, fathers exhibit harmful behaviours such as shouting, hitting, or neglecting their children. Studies in Uganda indicate that fathers are often the main perpetrators of violence against children and women, which damages family relationships and hinders children’s development.
Challenges affect all genders
It is essential to understand that these challenges are not exclusive to men. Women also face difficulties in parenting due to social norms, economic pressures, and personal struggles.
Ultimately, what defines a good parent is the love they have for their children. Skills, knowledge, and behaviours are learned over time. As parents strive to improve, they must also unlearn outdated habits and cultural ideas that no longer benefit their families
Nonetheless, many men actively strive to be good fathers, and fatherhood remains a journey of growth and reflection.
In Uganda, addressing these challenges requires cultural shifts, support systems, and policies that encourage fathers to be present, caring, and responsible.
It is time for communities, leaders, and policymakers to support and empower fathers to be present, loving, and responsible. Together, we can build stronger families and a brighter future for Uganda’s children.
The writer is a social worker and counselling psychologist
