By Dickson Tumuramye
In the wake of recent events at UCU, where a tragic incident highlighted the profound consequences of social isolation, it becomes imperative to reflect on how we engage with others in public spaces. The untimely demise of a nursing student, unnoticed for at least 2 days in her hostel room, raises troubling questions about our awareness of those around us and our willingness to reach out to those in need. It also comes to us to see if we have friends or classmates who really matter and care about us.
It is disheartening to think that amidst a community, someone could be suffering silently, without the solace of a supportive friend or the intervention of concerned peers. This tragedy underscores the critical importance of nurturing interpersonal relationships, not just for companionship but as a lifeline during challenging times.
Evaluate your interpersonal skills
As we contemplate this somber event, it prompts me to evaluate our own interpersonal skills. How attentive are we to the well-being of those around us? Do we notice subtle changes in behavior that might indicate someone is struggling? More importantly, do you create an environment where individuals feel safe to confide in you when they encounter inevitable life challenges? Who checks on you or how many do you check when they are lost or have missed a class or anything vital? How can some be in a community struggling and no one gets to notice it? Who should we blame? It is said that people don’t care how much you know but they want to know how much you care. We can all be a sister and a brother’s keeper. That is the spirit of Ubuntu.
The reality of mental health challenges
As friends, we can always read signs of a friend who was once extrovert or outgoing, and all of a sudden is now an introvert and no one cares to know why. Such friends need help. I want all of us to know that mental health is real. Uganda has over 14 million people suffering from mental health issues and some include anxiety, stress, and depression among others. These could be a result of the need for self-identity, academic pressure, lost friendships, lack of tuition, and other basic needs, etc. It is crucial to recognize the signs of distress in friends and colleagues and to encourage open dialogue about mental health without stigma or judgment.
Speak up and reach out
In times of distress, the impulse to retreat into isolation can be overwhelming. Yet, it is precisely during these moments that reaching out to a trusted friend, family member, or mentor can make a life-saving difference. Whether through a phone/video call, message, or in person, expressing concerns or seeking help is not a sign of weakness but of strength and self-awareness.
Addressing gender-based violence
The recent loss of Rebecca Cheptegai, a celebrated Olympian athlete, serves as an emotional reminder that fame and success do not shield individuals from personal struggles, including gender-based violence. There is a lot of sexual harassment in all higher institutions of learning for marks. At UCU, you can be protected from such lecturers if your whistle blows, and your identity will be protected. Don’t keep silent as you struggle with all such challenges only to be awakened up by danger when the situation is irreversible. We must foster a safe environment where victims feel empowered to report misconduct without fear of reprisal, ensuring their safety and anonymity.
Leave your phone on
When you are sleeping alone in the room, avoid switching off your phone in the night. You don’t know when danger can come and that unanswered call many times can trigger the caller to sense that you are in trouble and work out a way for your rescue. This can provide a vital lifeline in emergencies. This small action could alert others to potential danger and facilitate timely assistance.
Responsible relationships
The pursuit of healthy relationships requires both introspection and responsibility. Engaging in multiple relationships out of selfish motives can lead to unnecessary pressure and unforeseen consequences. The Bible reminds us “From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked” (Luke 12:48). If you have friends who are irresponsible or toxic, you don’t need to keep them in your circles because they don’t respect you.
Live within your means
Some of you have landed in trouble because you lack self-control and want to show off even when you live in scarcity, not even sure of your next meal. You are the type of person who borrows from Dick, Peter, and John, and you are always in debt. You need to change your habits and focus on what brings you peace. Paul says, “Am I now trying to win the approval of men or God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be Christ’s servant.” Therefore, avoid putting yourself in a class where you don’t belong. Stay humble, save, and plan well for your limited money, and live a debt-free life on campus and beyond.
Jesus saves
The grace of God is still sufficient for every sinner. It does not matter how you feel life has gone wrong around you. Exercise self-care and compassion. Forgive yourself and come to God, the God of second chances. He calls us, “Come to me, all who are heavily laden, and I will give you rest…casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you” (Matthew 11:28 & 1 Peter 5:7).
In conclusion, such tragedies compel us to reflect on our roles within our communities and the significance of genuine, supportive relationships. Let us strive to be more observant, compassionate, and proactive in reaching out to those who may need our support. By doing so, we not only enhance our own lives but contribute to a safer, more caring society where no one feels alone in their struggles.
The writer is head of Honours College, a parenting coach, a marriage counsellor, and the founder of the Men of Purpose mentorship program.
