By Dickson Tumuramye
The issue of drug and substance use is becoming increasingly prevalent in our society, especially in schools and universities. Many children are involved in drug use, yet parents often remain unaware of what is happening in their lives.
A university student once confided in me that he was struggling with alcohol addiction and was working hard to overcome it. However, despite numerous attempts, he found himself failing time and again. What pained him the most was that his parents had no idea about his struggles. Whenever he returned home for holidays, he abstained from drinking entirely, and his parents knew him only as their well-behaved, responsible son.
Other parents have recognized that their children are grappling with substance abuse and have taken various measures to support them. Some have experienced only marginal progress, while others have witnessed encouraging changes. Sadly, some have lost all hope and feel inclined to give up. Yet, I consistently urge parents to persevere in their efforts. These young people are their own flesh and blood, and the depth of parental love remains unparalleled.
Parents must continue engaging their children in discussions about the risks associated with drug use and alcoholism and how it can adversely affect their futures. However, the way in which this conversation is approached is of utmost importance. It’s vital not to convey judgment or condemnation. Using harsh language or adopting an accusatory tone can serve only to drive them further away. Many individuals struggling with addiction already wrestle with feelings of shame, rejection, and unworthiness. They are often in search of validation and care from their parents, but the grip of addiction can create a barrier that clouds their ability to make sound decisions.
Parents, love your children, counsel them, and confront the issue with compassion. Do not speak to them as if you are cursing them or declaring their failure. I know of a young man who overcame addiction because his mother constantly reminded him, “My son, I love you. You are my only son, and I will always love you and pray for you.” Even in the depths of his addiction, these words remained with him, ultimately leading to his transformation. Patience with your child and such words of affirmation may be the best tool to his/her redemption.
Therefore, remember that non-judgmental, non-confrontational, loving guidance combined with prayer and professional help can bring healing not only to the struggling child but also to the entire family. No matter how difficult the journey may seem, never stop believing in the power of love and patience to restore your child’s future.
Use professional counseling services to get help for your child. Some children need a third party with skills to talk and give them ways to overcome them. You could also use someone who was once addicted but was able to get out of this bondage. You can also use his/her peers to encourage him/her and walk a journey of accountability with your child. Where the situation is beyond your control, you can also use rehabilitation services but don’t let your child get slippery from your hands.
I believe in the power of prayer and the gospel. These can transform someone to a better future. Saul was a persecutor of the church but when he met with Christ Jesus, his life was never the same. His name also changed to Paul (Acts 9). Pray for him/her without ceasing. Keep talking about salvation and encourage them to attend church. All your efforts will never be in vain.
The writer is the executive of Hope Regeneration Africa, a parenting coach, marriage counselor, and founder of the Men of Purpose Mentorship Program
