By Dickson Tumuramye
Many times, I take my children to a clinic, and I usually encourage them to explain their pain to a medical doctor or officer and not me. I do this because I know I will tell a doctor what they already told me, which is already a reported speech.
I am sure they can give the same information to the doctor and exactly touch where they feel the pain, as the doctor can observe their gestures and any other non-verbal expression as well as interpret their feelings.
Sometimes they feel I should speak on their behalf. However, I insist that they are the ones sick and know where it hurts most better than I do. Yes, I will also add my voice to what they tell the doctor, where necessary, after expressing themselves. I have found it helpful over time. In addition, after the doctor has diagnosed and prescribed medications, and whoever offers a service, I make sure we don’t leave without expressing our appreciation. They must know that every service deserves appreciation. This is also a sign of humility, and it encourages effective communication skills. You are also promoting their assertiveness.
Self-expression is articulating one’s feelings and thoughts through words or actions and is intended for you to be heard or understood. A child is given the choice of expressing himself or herself and conveying his or her authentic inner self. You are trying to bring out your child’s individuality.
Self-expression is not only a problem among the young; even adults can fail to express themselves. I have seen many who become so nervous that they can’t make a point in public, however bright they may be.
Give children the chance to choose the words they want to use and express themselves. Do not limit what they say unless you believe what they say makes no sense. Encourage a child to express his or her feelings without fear or shame, as long as they can communicate the reality of what is exactly happening in his or her life. You know, some children can fake their feelings.
Encourage self-expression activities at home. As a parent, you know your child(ren) very well. You can tell each person’s strengths and weaknesses. You very well know who has a problem articulating their issues. Young children can use drawings, painting, and coloring to express their emotions or speak their minds. You can use games and role-playing to help them bring out their feelings.
Promote poetry or creative writing among children. For example, you can start speaking competitions to ensure the shy and introverted ones talk. Along the way, they learn to overcome being nervous when asked to talk. Their self-confidence and logical reasoning can be enhanced through expressive activities.
I usually tell my children that when they are in front of others and feel nervous, they can breathe in and out in a way people may not observe, keep face-to-face or eye contact with their congregation, speak loudly, etc. I sometimes tell them that when they feel they have made a mistake, this should not stop them from delivering the message. Sometimes the public may not even know it was a mistake. Therefore, they can creatively see how to move on without letting anyone know there was an error.
With such a mind, you are sure they can speak in public anytime, be coherent and consistent in their expression, explicitly communicate their feelings, or make a speech and drive their point home. When you take them to school, don’t be quick to speak on their behalf. The teacher should ask questions, and they should answer.
Give children room to express their emotions. Even when you are not comfortable with what someone tells you, appreciate the fact that someone dares to inform you about something. This should make you the suitable person to give appropriate feedback that maintains the relationship between the two of you.
