Dating! What exactly is it? Do we even truly know what it means, or worse, what it actually entails? I have been doing some thinking and here’s my honest, blunt, and unequivocal assessment of dating.
It’s often portrayed as an ideal way to connect and intentionally get to know someone on a deeper level to determine if they’re a suitable partner for a long-term, committed relationship, leading to marriage.
In reality though, I find that this idea is deeply flawed.
Dating has become a game, a trial-and-error system of experimentation, where everything is left to chance. People move from one partner to another, either because it’s their goal all along, or because they believe the next person will finally give them exactly what they’re looking for.
Promises are made, only to be broken. Without commitment and accountability, exploitation thrives. Some are pressured into giving sex to “prove” love. Others become what you might call “part-time spouses” — doing everything without the clarity of where it’s all going, hoping that maybe, it might work out, even when circumstances dictate otherwise.
Purpose to Break from this bubble. How?
Make a real friend first
Once two people decide to officially start “dating,” something valuable is lost — the natural, genuine innocence of friendship. In friendship, people are more free, more open, and more honest. If you truly want to understand someone’s character and personality, then real platonic friendship is the best place to start. There is no pressure or pretense. As friends, you are just two people getting to know each other. There are no unrealistic expectations.
Courtship: a better way
If you’re serious about pursuing a meaningful relationship that intentionally leads to marriage, with wisdom and respect, then consider courtship.
Courtship, unlike dating, is not about trying on people like shoes; courtship precedes a period of friendship between the two parties. Courtship is about getting to know someone deeply. It allows for honesty, accountability, and boundaries.
Let’s not follow trends blindly. So before jumping into dating, ask yourself: Do I really know what I’m doing? Is this the best way to build something real? Or am I just following the crowd?
Choose the path of wisdom. And above all, honor God in everything you do.
Dismas Nuwaine
